Another weekend has ended. Bleary-eyed and fog-laden you creep downstairs to confront the day. You’re not ready. You’ll never be ready. You curse the day’s very existence. Often, Monday ends up being about as pointless as Jerry Springer’s, Final Thoughts. True productivity doesn’t kick in until sometime around Wednesday afternoon.
And, life is even busier right now: Holiday gatherings have begun. Shopping is in full frenzy. End-of-year projects are ticking like time-bombs.
You are in falala fruit-cake hell.
But, I, for one, am not going to let it beat me. This week I won’t slink, sulk, or complain. After a few days of lying around in pajamas, and watching the Harry Potter Marathon NaNoWriMo detox, it’s time for me to get back on track.
Are you with me? Yes? Then, get out your whips and chains, grab Monday by the throat, and repeat after me:
I will not make any Mondays-can-bite-me comments today. Negativity feeds negativity. (Just like your habit of eating Twinkies feeds your muffin top.)
I will get organized for the week, but won’t spend my entire day making lists. Because, that tactic is really all about trying to look busy. Isn’t it? Well, isn’t it?
I will completely finish three items on my list today. No wimpy half check-marks. Half check marks are like getting half-dressed — you’re not ready to go. (Unless you’re living in L.A.)
I will get off the internet. I will get off the internet. I will get off the internet. I will get off the (oooh…free shipping, and is that a new Bieber video?)
I will spend at least five minutes out in the sunlight. Even if that sunlight is hidden behind ominous clouds and a wind-chill that will freeze eyelids open.
I will eat at least one piece of fruit that doesn’t come out of a can. Without whip cream.
(For Writers) I will make realistic, but challenging daily word count goals, and will not be released from BIC (butt-in-chair) mode until I make them.
I will smile and nod encouragingly at the person who cuts me off at the busy intersection. You know – the one who almost caused an eight car accident involving a packed school bus. (Okay, forget this one, I already blew it.)
I will give myself a pat on the back, a hot toddy, fifteen minutes of reading time, or whatever reward I deserve for persevering. I will not spend all of my money on hard cover books, or at the Clinique counter and deem it “therapy.”
And, if I failed at any (or all) of the above, I’ll get an extra half-hour of sleep tonight, blast myself with cold water in the morning, and start again.
Together, we will dominate Monday’s!
And, by we, I mean you.
*Find me on Twitter @amandahoving
“I will give myself a pat on the back, a hot toddy, fifteen minutes of reading time…”
I totally had a Freudian slip when I read this, mentally inserting the word “every” between “hot toddy” and “fifteen minutes.” Blocked out the rest of the sentence completely…yikes!
Wendy
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Hey, if you deserve a hot toddy every fifteen minutes, then go for it, Wendy! Just don’t drive anywhere, ok?
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The weird part is that I don’t even drink more than two glasses of wine on the rare occasions that I do imbibe…
Safe on the driving part…I don’t have my license!
Wendy
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Our posts are quite alike today. Great minds. And getting out into the sunlight is actually on my list of things to do today. It’s a subset of “rake leaves,” but it’s on there.
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So, that’s actually getting two things done at once, Tracey. You are totally dominating Monday!
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LOL, and great list. The ‘getting three things done’ is a good one to remember when things get too crazy, and getting some sunlight is something I have to remind myself to do all the time. But sounds like NaNoWriMo was a success??
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Yes, NaNo was a success (in the fact that I finished), thank you. I’ll have to do a wrap-up for those who are interested.
Yes, get outside…and at your new home, you’ll be able to do that more often, right?
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Ha! Sunlight…that’s crazy. I haven’t seen the light of day all weekend.
So, this morning I’ve scanned my twitter feed, decluttered my desk, organized my books, tracked down books I know I have but can’t seem to find, and watched Junot Diaz’s youtube discussion at the Smithsonian (okay, so this isn’t writing, but it is excusable since it’s Junot Diaz).
All these things trick me into thinking I’m working…but now I see the light (ugh, and it’s so bright). Okay, BIC. Monday, here I come!
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I’m really good at tricking myself into thinking I’ve done a lot, too. And, I have — it’s just not always the things on my list. Hope you got back to work yesterday, Jenny. Happy writing~
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I love you, man.
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🙂
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Three things?
What about two? Done well. Or just done.
Ok ok. I’ll get dressed. That’ll be one.
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Getting dressed counts as three things some days. Underwear, pants, shirt. Done, done, done!
Thanks for visiting~
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I need a nap after reading this.
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Napping is just restful thinking. Which is doing something. So, go do it.
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I’m up, but life is not as hectic as it used to be when Monday would grab me by the throat. I am thankful for this. Blessings to you as you bite back your sanity on Monday…
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Thank you, Carol Ann. I managed to get quite a bit done. Now, as for my Tuesday…not going quite as well…
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DIE MONDAY!!!!!! DIEE!!!!!!!
Okay, It’s not dead yet. We’ll check back in this evening. Lol
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Monday is dead by now…feeling better?
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I went to the dentist this morning. Can I be done now? 🙂
All right, I promise I will write 2,000 words on my novel today. That is totally doable for me. I just have to get off Twitter, Facebook, and the blogosphere to do it.
Amy
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You probably wrote 2,000 words already between those three mediums, right? I think internet free days are a must, Amy!
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Suffer, Monday, suffer! Love this post, Amanda!
Sunshine
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Thanks, Sunshine. That’s the spirit!
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But wait…isn’t getting ON the internet what makes Monday’s bearable?
(I too watched the Harry Potter marathon. What a lovely way to spend a Sunday.)
It’s 7:00 PM. Just five hours to go before you beat this thing…
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Yup — it’s a new day, Maura. And, here I am…back on the internet. Curses!
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Together we will dominate Mondays!
Wow. What a thought. Though I must admit, I “lost” my Monday to lethargy and procrastination. 😦 Since Australia is one of the first countries that sees a sunrise, I am late on reading this post. Nevertheless, I can save it for up and coming Mondays of my life. Thanks for this share!
-BrownEyed
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Since you’re awake while I’m still sleeping (I think) I count that as domination.
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ALMOST! I can’t write because it’s not a good thing to tempt myself with while I try to study (“if you study hard, you can write more!”). I was definitely out more than 5 minutes (“in the sun”–HA, Seattle…)! I mean, if in a car counts…………………………..
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The car does not count. Go take a lap.
Studying comes first, so good luck, and thanks for commenting~
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I totally needed to read this a whole lot earlier today!
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Hi Jane — Just change “Monday” to “Tuesday” and you’re golden. Thanks for reading~
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Great list! I had a hard monday today, and I wish I had read this in the morning. Lol. 🙂
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Today is a new day, Ollin. Hope it’s been an easier one…good luck!
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I loved this post! I didn’t exactly dominate Monday, but I didn’t let it kick me around either. I’d call that a success 😉
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Oh, you rocked it for sure, Janna.
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Does dominating Monday mean spreading eight bags of mulch and cutting back the Oleanders? Life in south Florida means garden chores year ’round but it’s sun paradise, so I got a good dose, knocking that off your upbeat spurring-me-on list without even trying. Also made a peanut butter/fudge cream pie for a holiday fundraiser and must admit that I couldn’t resist sampling some whipped cream in the process. Does that setback cancel out my sun gain?
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Sampling pie is double points. And, I think you may be bragging a little about your old Sunshine state 😉 Off to go freeze my eyelids open now…
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How did you know about my Twinkie habit? And why don’t my pants fit?
Honestly, I think these monday things would be easier if I got to bring a whip to work.
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Any things not accomplished during the day can be offset by an extra-thorough teeth-flossing in the evening! (Good to end the day on a high note!)
On the fruit front: I got one of those gadgets that cores and slices the apple at once. It makes eating non-canned fruit delightful!
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sweet! but, if I got off the internet…I wouldn’t have read this!
🙂
blessings!
(I’m all for the hot toddy…)
jane
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Oh, how I love this. I think I need to bookmark it and come read it every Monday (and Tuesday, Wednesday, etc). The world is littered with excuses to which we can cling and it is up to us to dominate our days! Thanks for the nudge 🙂
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having things half-done drives me BONKERS! I, too, miss the sunlight. This girl needs a serious Vitamin D fix!
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I totally need to live by this list 🙂
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Well, it’s Monday again, and my kids have all of their teacher gifts in their backpacks ready to go tomorrow (early for me) so I’m feeling good. The bad thing is, while I think I’m so ahead of the game, realistically I’m probably just catching up. On to Tuesday!
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