Another weekend has ended. Bleary-eyed and fog-laden you creep downstairs to confront the day. You’re not ready. You’ll never be ready. You curse the day’s very existence. Often, Monday ends up being about as pointless as Jerry Springer’s, Final Thoughts. True productivity doesn’t kick in until sometime around Wednesday afternoon.
And, life is even busier right now: Holiday gatherings have begun. Shopping is in full frenzy. End-of-year projects are ticking like time-bombs.
You are in falala fruit-cake hell.
But, I, for one, am not going to let it beat me. This week I won’t slink, sulk, or complain. After a few days of lying around in pajamas, and watching the Harry Potter Marathon NaNoWriMo detox, it’s time for me to get back on track.
Are you with me? Yes? Then, get out your whips and chains, grab Monday by the throat, and repeat after me:
I will not make any Mondays-can-bite-me comments today. Negativity feeds negativity. (Just like your habit of eating Twinkies feeds your muffin top.)
I will get organized for the week, but won’t spend my entire day making lists. Because, that tactic is really all about trying to look busy. Isn’t it? Well, isn’t it?
I will completely finish three items on my list today. No wimpy half check-marks. Half check marks are like getting half-dressed — you’re not ready to go. (Unless you’re living in L.A.)
I will get off the internet. I will get off the internet. I will get off the internet. I will get off the (oooh…free shipping, and is that a new Bieber video?)
I will spend at least five minutes out in the sunlight. Even if that sunlight is hidden behind ominous clouds and a wind-chill that will freeze eyelids open.
I will eat at least one piece of fruit that doesn’t come out of a can. Without whip cream.
(For Writers) I will make realistic, but challenging daily word count goals, and will not be released from BIC (butt-in-chair) mode until I make them.
I will smile and nod encouragingly at the person who cuts me off at the busy intersection. You know – the one who almost caused an eight car accident involving a packed school bus. (Okay, forget this one, I already blew it.)
I will give myself a pat on the back, a hot toddy, fifteen minutes of reading time, or whatever reward I deserve for persevering. I will not spend all of my money on hard cover books, or at the Clinique counter and deem it “therapy.”
And, if I failed at any (or all) of the above, I’ll get an extra half-hour of sleep tonight, blast myself with cold water in the morning, and start again.
Together, we will dominate Monday’s!
And, by we, I mean you.
*Find me on Twitter @amandahoving